Don't forget the shoes

So this is what it is like to date at my age. Lots of first dates with people that you wish you didn't even know as a distant acquaintance. What's sadder still is that this is also how they feel about you. Difficult to understand, I KNOW! At least from that angle, from my angle though, I totally get how they feel. Did you know that we figure out whether or not we will click with someone within the first five minutes of meeting them, and we waste all that time and money in an uncomfortable spit-fest over a plate of food. (Courtesy of my last psycho would-be anti-mormon dinner date.) I kind of wanted to ask him if he could also do my shoes. (Didn't that used to be called spit-shine?) Needless to say, I left the table hungry and begging for more (good men that is!) If only we would have gone on a date near the caribbean so that either I could hide under an umbrella, or wash off after in the ocean. Barring, that, a good stiff drink would've helped with the consciousness factor of the whole rainy ordeal. I recommend dating only while intoxicated. They say not to drink and drive, but I say to be certain that you drink while dating. Yep, they go together like shine on a shoe, like saliva and digestion. Sorry, I digress! Good gracious, I say save me! Talk about "Fear Factor" Most people cannot handle this, but not me, I am FEARLESS I tell you.